News You Will Only Read Here

I heard this from the walls around DC.

President Obama said that in an act of solidarity with the federal workers who are affected by the sequestration, he will take Fridays off until the budget issues are resolved.

In a related note, Congress will not change since it hasn’t worked since John Boehner became Speaker, and will not work until he is replaced. Rand Paul announced in an act of defiance, he will work eight days a week.

In a related note, Paul McCartny is suing Rand Paul for copyright infringement.

In a related note, MUSE called Paul McCartney a “sellout” for using “the Man” to seek his revenge for being wronged.

In a related note, everyone said, “Who?” (MUSE…band most noted for being anti-establishment, and “overusing” “airquotes” and “annoyingly” using their “fingers” to “make” them when “speaking”.)

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